The Adventures of Flame Girl!

Hey there, internet readers! I’m Flame Girl, the most freaking awesome villain you will ever meet. Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re probably thinking, ‘Sooo, who is this Flame Girl chick, and if she’s so awesome, why haven’t I heard of her before?’ Yeah, I thought you’d say that. I’m not your everyday, ‘I-like-to-kill-people-for-fun-and-rob-banks-and-take-little-kids’-candy-because-I-have-no-life’ villain. I think of it more as a… Night job.(:

Anyway, how did I become a super villain, you ask? Well, it’s really quite simple. I mean, I guess it’s not. I mean, normal people don’t get bitten by radioactive spiders set on fire everyday. I don’t think, anyway. But then again, I’m not your everyday person. I’m a supervillain. If you haven’t figured that out already. Anway, one day, I was just walking outside to get my mail, with a bar of chocolate in my hand (which was my breakfast), and I saw this weird looking chick walk by. Her hair looked like she’d rolled through the woods a couple thousand times, and her clothes were like, so freaking 80’s. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my mail, and started walking in the other direction.

“Hello.” she said, biting her nails. She just stood there, like she was waiting for something. I had no idea what she wanted, but if she was trying to get her hands on my chocolate, she was gonna have to wait a lifetime. I quickly shoved the rest in my mouth.

“Uhh, hey?” I said, but it sounded more like a question. Especially because, you know, I had a mouthful of chocolate in my mouth. Oh well.

“Would you mind if I used your bathroom?” the witch-looking chick said, staring at me.

“Uhh, no, I don’t let creeps in my house.” I say, walking the other way. Geez, what a weirdo.

“Well, okay then…” the witch/thing looked down at her shoes. “Then I guess you wouldn’t mind if… I SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE!” She snaps her fingers. I was so confused, someone could have come and lit my shoes on fire, and I wouldn’t have known what was going on. Ha. That’s funny. You’ll understand after you read the next paragraph. Soooo hilarious.

“Whaaaaaaat?” I asked, turning. All of a sudden, my house burst into flames. Juuuuuuuust dandy. “Why the heck would you set my house on fire? Are you flipping insane?” I yelled at her.

Then, get this: The chick turned around and smiled at me. Yes, you heard me right. Smiled. I suddenly had a thought that maybe she’s from the looney bin, and escaped somehow. No normal person would set a person’s house on fire if they weren’t nuts.

“Well, I guess I’ll be going then.” The weirdo said, turning. I growled, which, I have an unnecessary talent for. I dropped my mail, swallowed my chocolate, and ran forward, jumping on her back.

“You’re not going anywhere until you fix my house!” I–you guessed it– growled in her ear. She snapped her fingers and my hair caught fire, and I jumped off of her, shrieking, and the fire instantly burned out. My hair was still singed on the ends, though.

The witch smiled at me once more, and reached into her (so 80s) shirt/robe thing, and pulled out a giant spider. She dropped it on the ground, snapped her fingers, and the monstrous thing caught fire. “Attack.” she said angelically, picking at her nails, and the spider started toward me. I raised my eyebrows at her.

“Yeah. Like I’m afraid of spiders.” I said, crossing my arms. But the thing didn’t even look like a spider anymore, it was completely on fire. No big deal or anything. She smiled and the spider crawled straight up to my toe and bit it. Then it was gone.

“What the…?” I started to ask, but the witch lady snapped her fingers and I caught fire. The funny thing was, I wasn’t burning. At all. It was the weirdest thing. Then, all of a sudden, the fire stopped. The witch/thing smiled, and put up her hood, covering her greasy, black hair.

“You’ll be hearing from me.” she said so softly I barely heard her. Then she blinked her almost colorless eyes, and disappeared. I heard a ‘whoosh’ through one of the trees above me, and she was gone. Shrugging I went back inside, stepping around the pile of ashes that used to be the freaky spider.

Little did I know, I just gotten my supervillain powers. Unlike most of the other supervillains you know, I didn’t acquire mine in some, super awesome, heroic action that gave me spectacular powers. I kinda got the short end of the stick, there. In a way, I got my powers the same with the witch chick did, so I kind of, ‘cloned’ her powers, and now they’re mind. Anyway, more of that later.

So, the next morning, when I dragged myself out of bed, I headed downstairs to get some breakfast. I opened my fridge, and there was a yellow sticky note on top of the milk. I ripped it off, and read it.

Welcome to being a Super Villain.

Notice anything… unusual happening?

No? Just wait.(:

On my way out of my bedroom after I had gotten dressed, I quickly looked at myself in the mirror and noticed something really weird. I did a double take, and realized that my back was on fire. I flipped out, and started hitting the flames with pillows, but nothing worked. This is just totally flipping awesome. I thought to myself. By the way, catch the sarcasm there? Good. But I kept hitting the flames, and the fire wouldn’t go away.

Since it didn’t seem to be burning me, I dropped the pillow and looked at the flames in the mirror. That’s when I realized they weren’t flames, they were some kind of weird wings that were attached to my back, made of fire. It was actually pretty cool, and after a few disastrous fails, I realized I could fly with them, too.

In all honesty, I actually thought it was pretty flipping awesome. But, you know, it would be totally weird if someone went out in public with wings made of fire attached to their back. So I threw on a jacket and surprisingly, they fit comfortably underneath.

I looked in the mirror one last time, and blinked my eyes twice. And I was gone. No lie or anything. Gone. Completely and utterly gone. It was the coolest thing. I walked forward and instead of bumping into my nightstand, I went right through it. I guessed that this was power number two. I blinked twice and I appeared again. I tried walking through the dresser, but it didn’t work. Oh, well.

On my way out the door, I lit the fire in the fireplace. I had a thought and decided to try something. I snapped my fingers and the wood caught fire. Power number three! I thought to myself. I leaned forward, and accidentally caught my hair in the flame. It started burning, and I tried to pat it out, but it just kept burning. Except my hair wasn’t burning or anything. It was still in perfect shape. I snapped my fingers and the fire vanished. It was the coolest thing.

As for my costume, that one was probably the simplest. I honestly just threw together some old clothes that make me look all villain-y and killer-like. It was really just a ripped crop top with fringe that tied around, and an uneven skirt that was ripped off at weird lengths around the bottom. For effect, I lit them both on fire so that they looked all awesome and burned. You kinda have to see it to appreciate it. But you know. On my feet, I just wore my old combat boots because, quite honestly, they were the most comfortable.

So, that’s how I got my powers. But, when did I really turn a villain at heart. That’s a hard one. See, I’ve never been the nicest person in the world. But still. I was nice enough. The morons in my town just didn’t seem to see that. I guess that the first time I was really a true villain was last summer, around the Fourth Of July.

I was just walking down the street; it was about a week after I’d gotten my powers. I was still learning how to use them, when I saw a kitten stuck in a tree. I smiled, getting an idea, and blinked my eyes twice, making myself invisible to the crowd of teens coming up the street. I snapped my fingers and the tree caught fire; the teens went insane. The tree burned to the ground, and the cat ended up falling onto the ground, but the tree was gone.

I know its not the worst crime in the world, but it was my first. Don’t judge, because I can guarantee that you probably don’t have the guts to do even that. So please, save the drama for your mamma and keep the nasty comments away.(:

So, I guess there’s only one thing I haven’t exactly covered yet. What is my weakness, you ask? Oh, that’s simple. Spiders. I cannot deal with spiders. If a spider bites me, my powers are messed up for, maybe a week, two weeks tops. I mean, they still work, but they’re messed up and do all sorts of weird things. But you know why. I got my powers from a spider, so spiders are generally my kryptonite.

Anyway, that’s me. Welcome to the world of Flame Girl. Nice meeting yah. Basically, I’ve told you the basics so far. And I’d greatly appreciate it if you didn’t go telling everyone you know, because, you know, my identity is a secret and all. But whatever. I can always come to your house one night and set it on fire or something.(:

MWAHAHAHAHAHA. Just kidding. I’m not that mean.(: Or so you think.

Bye for now, people of the world wide web. It’s been nice talking to yah. Come back soon. I’ll be writing some more. Hopefully. When my schedule allows it.

Peace Out, Internet.

Thanks for listening. See you soon.

-Flame Girl.

PS: Any other super beings out there, feel free to drop me a comment. Maybe we can join forces or something of that nature. That’d be fun, eh?

PSS: If you see any buildings ‘miraculously’ bursting into flames, keep your mouth zipped. Thanks! Bye.

(1,752 words)

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